What do you want me to do with all my feelings? Rake them up and put them in the green waste bin?

At my parents house there was an enormous gum tree that towered over our home. Its trunk spawned from our neighbour’s yard, right by the fence that separated our back gardens. Its crown loomed over both our roofs, and all year round it would cover both our lawns with big waxy green and brown leaves, twigs and sometimes huge branches. Every time they announced “gale force winds” on the news, its massive limbs looked more and more threatening as it heaped with weight and age.

My dad would spend hours in the garden raking up its leaves and picking up its natural trimmings. He would often fill up our green waste bin and then the neighbour’s too. He took much pride in his yard, he still does. It was supposedly a nuisance, but even my parents missed it after it was gone.

After years of looking for lumberjacks brave enough to face the giant, two tall, brash blokes came by one day in their big green truck. After a few hours, there was a giant, uncomfortable hole in the sky that made even the clear blueness of the day look foreign and odd.

My tree grows in your garden, but my leaves fall everywhere. What do you want me to do with all my feelings? Rake them up and put them in the green waste bin? They won’t stop coming, scattering themselves on all the same grass that my limbs shadow when the sun is shining. You’ll have to chop it down if you want it to stop.

23rd July 2023

Gacked in the uber off 2 days sleep deprivation a line of ecstasy and a few bumps of coke coming home from work: As I get older I realise that capacity for motherhood is a gift and privilege that has been endowed upon me by nature. I have just very recently realised that my hard and stubborn stance of rejecting motherhood, the idea that I never want to bear children, might be informed by the way I’ve soaked in the injustice suffered by my mother, and all mothers in humankind. For motherhood is a gift, but a cruel one, a curse almost. I have always been - or so I thought - so sure, so steadfast in the belief that I never wanted to be one. But something about the pure profoundness, power and reverence of having a womb that gives life, has struck me lately. An experience that only a mother and her child could have. The Universe, or God if you prefer, has gifted me with this potential. The choice is mine. And I thank not God or the Universe, but the women that came before for that choice.

24th May 2026

To all men in my dms asking me where my tits went I’m just as sad about it as you are so shut the fuck up. I will be grieving them by wearing the tiniest most micro bikinis, belts and strings as tops in a way that post pubescent me could only ever dream of. I will be serving Bianca Censori type of cunt. I’ve hung up my E cup bra but the itty bitty titty committee still hates me

22nd April 2024 - via Instagram Story Create Mode after losing weight from a short period of heavy drug use