*:ꔫ:*♥ 𝓑𝓲𝓶𝓫𝓸 𝓔𝔁𝓲𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓲𝓪𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓶 ♥*:ꔫ:*
Erika Tanahashi
What I spent my tax return on:
Isabel Marant sheer tank dress (second hand)
Embroidered sued Miu Miu boots (second hand)
Salted apricot martini
Muscles soaked in curry coconut milk and frites
The idea that I might die tomorrow we all might die tomorrow
Memento mori
My friends and I half heartily joke about maxing out all of our credit cards and fleeing to another country
We’re scammers like United Healthcare
How many copays on an unpaid Amex till I hit my deductible?
We laugh cause we’ll never afford homes like our parents
It makes our empty caffeinated stomachs bubble with hunger
My generation is so hungry desperately scratching for a glimmer comfort
Kate moss once said “My mum used to say to me, 'you can't have
fun all the time,' and I used to say, 'why not?'
Why the fuck can't I have fun all the time?”
It’s “treat yourself” economics
Because my taxes aren’t being used for anything I believe in
Because my taxes are killing children somewhere far away and somewhere close by
An American pope in a blasphemous country and he doesn’t look a thing like Jude Law
What can I do with money once I’ve been returned to ashes?
What can I do with money when I’m deeply buried within the dirt?
𝓜𝓪𝓻𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓲𝓼 𝓪𝓻𝓮 𝓪𝓷 𝓲𝓷𝓭𝓲𝓬𝓪𝓽𝓸𝓻 𝓸𝓯 𝓰𝓻𝓸𝔀𝓽𝓱⏤͟͟͞͞★
Erika Tanahashi
Martini glasses make me feel clumsy in an adolescent way
Like a child sipping sprite from a wine glass
I am cosplaying an adult
In second hand knee high leather boots and $50 lipgloss
I wonder how I’ve gotten this far in life without being able to properly drink a martini
The first few sips splash against my upper lip aggressively
The rim is just as wide as a devious smile
Drenching my chin with dribble
So I lap it like a dog
My lips glazed and coated…sugary….sticky
I can’t seem to hold the shallow glass steady
My fingers trembling
Feel adhesive
I suck on them
I make three seconds of eye contact with four people
While I suck on them
This gives me great pleasure
Because I know I still look hot
I feel exposed to these strangers though
They are voyeurs to my shame
My body’s refusal to mature
My cheeks prickle with heat from the alcohol
And embarrassment…
I think about how a dick would taste…and feel on my sanitary tongue
Honestly this whole entire time at the bar
The sloppiness of it all
I’ve been thinking about sucking dick
Erika Tanahashi is Japanese American writer who currently works as visual merchandiser and stylist in New York City, and resides in Brooklyn. She enjoys over dressing for mundane activities, cutting up vintage porn magazines, and baking not too sweet cakes and cookies. She is currently working on a collection of short stories about women with off putting tendencies because they are her favorite kind.